Inadequacies

For the last couple of weeks I have been feeling inadequate in everything. I started listing to B about all of them. I will list a few here; I could list forever, but let’s not make me look horrible!

This I do not do on a regular basis which, make me feel inadequate:

Dishes

Laundry

Dusting

General tidying

Cleaning the bathroom

Cleaning up after dinner

Folding laundry

Cooking

Exercising

Active participation in activities

B tried to help me feel better by telling me about all that I really do. It didn’t help much. So then he tried to compare me, like I have been doing, to others, but of course that didn’t work.

Then we went to church, and I was able to see a lot the people I have been comparing myself to and it made me feel like I needed to make all these changes to fit in with the ‘crowd’. But WHY do I have to change? Why do I feel like I need to make all kinds of changes? What is so wrong with me not being perfect?

NOTHING!

Absolutely nothing!

I do a lot, and my good friend pointed it out to me. We became friends my sophomore year of college when we lived on the same floor. She was the only one who was honest and truly a friend as my boyfriend was breaking up with me and started to hang out with, and eventually was dating her.  We fell out of contact for a while, I was finding myself and started going back to church, and she was finding herself. It wasn’t until after I was married did we really get in to contact with one another again.

She came over the other day, we were supposed to sew a dress, but just ended up talking. We started talking about friends and how we have friends and then those who we are ‘friends’ with but we can’t stand them, but they are friends with our good friends so we put up with it.

Then she says this, “You know why we are still friends? It is because you didn’t change.” She went on to explain, how on the floor I was the one people went to for help, whether homework or other and how I still do things like that. How I am always willing to help others, and how my craft stash, has a ton of projects for me, but how I am always working on something for someone else.

Little did she know that is what I needed. I needed someone to tell me everything that I know. I don’t need to become one of those women who have immaculate house, has two kids with a bun in the oven, or the perfect body. I do the best that I can. I have been working so that B can go to school full time, and so that we will be able afford it. I might to have the perfect house or everything that some of the others might have, but I am happy, and that is what matters.